Grand Theft Auto: Sonikku City, Baby!
by Kawaii Overdose
Summary: Exactly what the title says. Please R&R. Flamers will be shot. Surviving flamers will be shot again.


A quick note: I have never played GTA (I'm 14 for crying out loud!), I just thought it would be funny if it was done by the Sonic characters, and a few of my own. I hope one of the plots inthe game is at least _something_ like this.

I do not own Sonic or related characters, nor do I own GTA. Any of the three people you don't know belong to me.**_

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**_Grand Theft Auto: Sonikku City, Baby!_**

Angry fanfiction writers and readers burst through the door of one of the many Sonic fan sites. "The Sonic fanfiction archive has been down for three hours!" yelled the one with the mohawk, cape, and revolver gun. "What the hell!"

The only guy, the one with the dome haircut, in the building was crouched down by a computer monitor. "Things are going downhill today..." he said.

Mohawk-Boy pointed the revolver at him. "Are you the admin?" he asked.

"Gunpowder residue is bad for servers, you know." Admin said.

"If the Sonic archive isn't back up in the next five minutes, I'm gonna 4ir ou7 j00r d0m3." Mohawk-Boy threatened.

"Can't." said Admin. "Some thugs took Makoto-Rin."

"What?"

"Makoto-Rin is the server for the Sonic archive. I knew we should have gotten a spare..."

_**XxXxXxXxXx**_

"Awuu..." said the little blonde robot girl Makoto as she was being stuffed into a trunk. "Where are you taking me?"

"Sonikku City, baby." said a blue hedgehog with an afro, way too much gold jewelery, and a disco outfit.

The black and red hedgehog with the greasy, red high-lighted Jerry curl and the boogie suit next to him said, "That's right. Don't get too comfy, toots. If you ever want to eat yer rice balls again, you'll be a good girl."

Then they closed the trunk.

**_XxXxXxXxXx_**

When they finally let Makoto out of the trunk, they had reached Sonikku City. The black hedgehog gave her a rice ball.

"Ohh...my legs hurt." said Makoto munching on the rice ball. "That trunk was so tiny..."

"Shut up and eat your rice ball." snapped the black hedgehog.

Makoto looked around the city, noticing a lot of furries, as it was most of the city's population. And by the looks of it they were near the city's airport. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Shinjuku, baby." said the blue hedgehog.

"Why?" Makoto asked. "What are you going to do with me?"

"We got a client down in Shinjuku who is thinkin' of addin' you to his 'network'." the blue hedgehog continued. "He wants to check out the goods first, so we..."

In their way was a sky blue hedgechidna girl with wings, wearing a Gothic Lolita dress. The blue hedgehog prepared to knock her out of his way. "Hey, get outta the way, ya damn..."

The girl raised a gun to his forehead.

"...freak." the hedgehog finished.

With a small 'pop', the hedgechidna fired the gun, grabbed Makato's wrist, and ran away with her. The black hedgehog tried to follow, but the blue one fell on him. "Hey!" he yelled. "Get yer lazy ass offa me! That little bitch is runnin' off with the goods!"

The blue hedgehog stood up. In his large fro was a small hole where the bullet hit. "No one messes wit ma fro." he said with a creepy evil grin. "Dat little ho is goin' down!"

"What?"

"In da dead sense, foo."

**_XxXxXxXxXx_**

"Uh...where are you taking me?" Makoto asked her new kidnapper. The girl didn't answer, just sang a little song.

"Hold up and suck on this, LoliPop!" said the black hedgehog that suddenly reappeared in front of them. Right before he got a chance to shoot, he felt a double barrel gun hit him in the back of the head, and a female voice, "Please don't get violent with my girls."

"It makes me-"  
BLAM  
"-unhappy."  
BLAM  
Seconds later a clicking sound was heard.  
"Oh foo, it jammed."

Behind the black hedgehog, was a pink hedgehog with short hair, wearing a hot-pink corset and jacket. She craddled the gun for a moment like it was a baby. "My poor little Benelli..." She turned her attention towards Makoto and the hedgechidna, appearently known as LoliPop. " You sweeties ok?" she asked.

LoliPop studied her left sleeve, which had a bit of the black hedgehog's blood on it. "You splattered me..." she said. "...I kinda like it."

"Umm...hello." Makoto said.

The hedgehog girl perked up Makoto's chin with a hand. "Oh, you ARE a little cutie, aren't you?" she said in a friendly manner. "I have some clients that are going to love you to bits!"

A low rumbling sound interuppted them. "Wh...what's that?" Makoto asked. The hedgehog girl started to grab out two new guns from inside her jacket.

"Oh nothing dear..." she said. "Just some buisness that Big Sister has to deal with."

LoliPop, also starting tobring out another gun, noticed the the black hedgehog was moaning. "Oh...I must be in heaven..." he said. "Its all frills and lace..."

Thinking about what he meant, LoliPop shot him again only responding with a, "Hey."

As for Makoto and Big Sister, the low rumbling sound had come from a large robot, with many guns, flamethowers, and other explosives, yet one of the most idiotic smiley faces as a head, which was also wearing a party hat. In control, was the same blue hedgehog.

"Hey baby." he said to Big Sister. "I figured it wuz you dat nicked my litle piece of cyber jailbait."

"Fro-Daddy SonicShin." Big Sister said. "Still experimenting with mechanical enhancements, I see."

"Da Fro-Daddy always delivers da goods." SonicShin stated. "Now hand over the little digi-ho."

Big Sister, joined by LoliPop, pulled out their two new machine guns each. "I think he's trying to impress us." Big Sister said.

"I've seen bigger." said LoliPop.

"You want to drop him LoliPop, or shall I?"

"Whatever."

The black hedgehog, somehow still alive, started to get up, burnt in a nurmerable places. "ZOMBIE!" SonicShin yelled as he torched his comrade with one of the robot's flamethrowers.

"What da hell you shooting at me for!" yelled the black one. "Goddam moron!"

"Get up, foo." ordered SonicShin. "Help me ice these hos."

Suddenly, a rocket came from behind SonicShin and blasted him, sending the robot head flying. Big Sister sheilded herself from the explosion, while LoliPop stood with a happy little grin on her face.

"Well, that was quick." said Big Sister. "I wonder where the rocket came from. Oh well."

"I belive we have a runaway in process." said LoliPop.

"Hmm?"

**_XxXxXxXxXx_**

Makoto ran away as fast as she could. The head from SonicShin's robot flew in her direction, but didn't hit her. Instead, it made contact with the head of a brown haired boy Makoto had passed.

After she was far away from where her kidnappers were, Makoto's run came down to a brisk walk. But, it did not last to long. Someone flung their arms behind her in a hug. A female voice said: "Careful, my pretty, pretty girl. Don't overheat those cute little processor cores."

"Wha...What are you..." Makoto managed to say from the shock.

"Did the rockets scare you, little pretty? I am sorry." the mysterious girl said. "I just borrowed them from another little drama going on a few blocks away."

Makoto freed herself from the girl's grasp. "No!" she said. "What are you...What do you want?" Makoto's newest captor was a magenta echidna with her long hair in a pony tail, and wearing something like a Japanese school uniform. She was also holding something like a wand in her hand. She flicked the wand a little, and a broom with a messenger bag attached flew to her.

"Oh, I'm not like all those other bad people." the girl said. "They are only interested in what they can sell you for. I'm interested in _you_, little pretty. I want to make you more special than you already are. You see...I love to take things apart, and then put them back together again."

Ignoring Makoto's puzzled look, the girl began to search in the bag on her broom. "Let's see now..." she said. "I _could_ just disassemble you with a little magic." She whipped out a cordless drill from the bag. "But that would be like cheating wouldn't it?" she asked herself. "I think this calls for a slightly more...hands-on approach. Something more...intimate." She turned around. "Don't you agree?"

Makoto was no where to be seen.

"Oh dear." said the girl. "She ran away."

**_XxXxXxXxXx_**

Makoto huffed as she ran away from the witch girl. Why were so many people after her? She was just one server. They could've taken any of the others from any of the other archives, so why her? Did they all have some kind of grudge against Naka-San? Maybe it was because of that whole 'get-rid-of-the-old-voice-cast-and-replace-it-with-the-show-voice-cast' ordeal...

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, she wasn't paying attention to where she was going, and she bumped into someone. It was a red echidna in a police uniform. Behind him was a one-tailed fox with a gun and a two-tailed fox.

"Uhm...hello?" Makoto said.

"Hey, slow down little girl." said the red echidna.

"Yeah." said the two-tailed fox. "Running in a crowd is dangerous."

"Wait...police? Are you the police!" Makoto asked with hope. "There are all these bad people after me! Please help me!"

KER-CHACK

"Ah...What are you doing?" Makoto asked the one-tailed fox who just put a pair of handcuffs on her.

"Suuure, we'll take care of ya." he said with a smile. "So, who excatly is lookin' for ya? Can you describe 'em?"

"Put her in the car." said the echidna. "I'll fire up the credit card nachine."

**_XxXxXxXxXx_**

After driving a bit, they came to a clearing where Fro-Daddy SonicShin and his lackey, Big Sister and LoliPop, the witch echidna girl, a crocodile, chameleon, and bee punk ninja triad, and a fat, bald, mustached guy in a superhero suit with a pie as his logo were. The 'police' came out of the car. The two-tailed fox stayed by the car to make sure no one stole Makoto while the one-tailed fox put up a police line. The echidna took out a megaphone.

"Alright, settle down." he said. "You all know the drill. We have some unclamied goods here. Highest bidder takes it home. No questions asked." While the one-tailed fox joined with the two tailed one, the echidna continued. "Regulars are welcome to use credit cards, with a small fee if the name on the card is different than yours. Cash is preferred. We'll take cash from anyone..." His eyes darted to a small rabbit and a large cat next to Big Sister, both holding a sack of money.

"...except you two." he said. "What did I tell you about showing your faces around here?"

"But..." said the rabbit.

"Go on, get your wino asses out of here."

"But...!" said the cat.

"Don't come back!"

And then the rabbit and cat left, only to be replaced by someone new.

"I'm sorry." said the brown haired kid from earlier, only now he had black kitty ears and was holding the giant robot's head.

"What?" asked the echidna.

"I didn't think you could hear me whining." the brown haired kid continued. "People are always complaining to me about things. They talk to me."

"Who the hell are you and why are you talking to me?"

The kid smiled. "They say things like I'm not funny anymore, or that I'm too mushy, or that the head I'm holding is suddenly much smaller than it was before. Or ask why I suddenly have black kitty ears sticking out of my head."

The kid's expression became grim as he pulled out a pocket knife.

"I don't know why I have little black kitty ears sticking out of my head." he said. "This is your fault. You did this to me. All of you did."

"Hey, what are you..." said the echidna.

"B4ck off foo, I..." panicked SonicShin.

The punk ninja triad grunted.

"Eek! Stay away!" screamed the Pie-Man.

"Can I touch them?" asked LoliPop sweetly.

The kid gave heartless stares as he lunged forward with the knife. He-

**-This oneshot has been edited and compressed for time. ****Think happy thoughts. ****Bunnies and kitties. -**

Makoto stared into space with a look that you could tell right away that she would have future problems. The brown haired kid opened the car door opposite to her and asked, "I don't suppose there's a first aid kit in here. The one with the broom got me a little before I got her. Nothing serious."

When Makoto didn't answer, the kid stepped inside and sat down in the driver's seat. "No? No first aid kit?" he asked again. "Oh well. I'll guess it'll stop bleeding evantually." He then noticed that the car had no steering wheel.

"No steering wheel either huh? Hm, ok. Maybe this is a modded import with a removeable steering wheel! Yeah, that could work! My therapist always says I shouldn't get angry about little errors, but to focus on creative ideas. ...Of course, my therapist is a Sonadow fanatic who probably has no chance of passing the ninth grade..."

The kid shrugged and started to get out. As he did, he took a bit of paper out of his pocket. "Oh, and some guy called and asked if I could send you home. Seems the death threats are starting to bother him. This plane ticket will get you back to your owner. I was gonna use it myself so I could get to the Sega HQ to 'talk' to Yuji about the voice changes, but oh well." He got out completely and looked for another car he could hotwire to get Makoto to the airport.

"Wow, I feel _so_ much better now. Where's my pink iPod mini?"

Makoto's stare didn't leave her face. It was still there, as she got on the plane, and as she walked back home once returned to the HQ. There are some things a hard reboot just won't fix.

_**Grand Theft Auto: Sonikku City: End, Baby!**_

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_**And now you are safe from the evil knife wielding Chris! But I bet you all enjoyed invisioning the bunnies and kitties, huh? 

...And I'm sorry you had to invision Eggman in tights...**-runs-**

And now you are safe from the evil knife wielding Chris! But I bet you all enjoyed invisioning the bunnies and kitties, huh? 


End file.
